Hiraeth is a Welsh word loosely translated to mean: homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past. It is most fitting description of what I’m feeling about leaving the life I’ve known for almost 12 years.
We’re getting transferred to Baltimore from St. Louis. Baltimore is a perfectly lovely city, close to all our east coast relatives and our son who is a freshman in College Park. Seems like a good fit, go back from whence we came, only this may be the hardest move I’ve made so far.
This will be my third cross country move and our fifth home in 13 years, I should be used to this. Talking with a friend who transferred around for years while her husband was in the military we both came the same conclusion: you never really feel settled.
I grew up in New York, and if asked, I still say I’m from there. I went to college, got married and had my son in DC. After 10 years we left there for a brief 2 years in Dallas, finally reaching St. Louis in 2002. We live in Kirkwood, the epitome of small town USA – and we love it. We love our friends, our walk-able community, our shops and our restaurants. It feels like home, only without the extended family. Settled but unsettled.
The upside – an exploration of the things I love in St. Louis, or things I’ve not experienced, before I leave. Take a look at my Show-Me List on the right, as I check off these items I’m going to share my adventures here. Have a suggestion? Let me know.
The downside – the sadness I feel as the move looms; the frustrations and hassles too.
I hope you follow along on my journey of Here in St. Louis as I get ready to leave; of There in Baltimore as I figure out where we’re going to live; of Everywhere in between as I journey back and forth between the two; of Nowhere as I figure out where I truly belong.